I wrote a blog in February entitled Real Beauty.
Since that time I have had a rather large self transformation due to my fitness show preparation. Over the past 14 weeks, Ive lost over 15 pounds. I get asked every day if Ive lost weight and what did I do. I worked my butt off is what I did. Co-wokers that jest "Oh I hate you". I am amazed at the low confidence level regarding persoanl appearance that exists with women. Yes, I do strive to be the best I can be and do go above and beyond the avergage female, but this is my choice. It is a lot of work and yes I reap the benefits of it. Trust me I still have my own insecurities but I dont let them run my life.
So I read an article in Glamour recently that I decided to post.
8 New Ways to Boost Your Body Image
Change Your Mantra
What thoughts usually go through your head? I wish I had thinner thighs? Why can’t I have a flat stomach? I hate my butt? Sound familiar? You can stop these thoughts and feel better about your body by doing a simple thing, says Patricia Farrell, Ph.D., a psychologist in Englewood Cliffs, New Jersey, and the author of How to Be Your Own Therapist.“Create a new mantra—something you can repeat that will reinforce that you are strong, beautiful and worthy,” she says. Some ideas to get you started: “I am thankful that I have a strong, healthy body” or “Outer beauty comes from inner strength.”
Write Yourself Love Notes
You would drop a little love note in your boyfriend’s lunch, so why not do the same for yourself, suggests Farrell. It might feel a little odd at first, but she suggests leaving sticky notes around the house—everywhere from your bathroom mirror to the door of your refrigerator—to remind yourself of your beauty and your worth.They can be funny (“Hey, hottie!”), thoughtful (“What should a chair and a body have in common? You should be comfortable in them”) or motivating (“The ice cream carton will not make us happier”).
Be a Little Childish
Paula Bloom, Ph.D., an Atlanta clinical psychologist and speaker, says the best body-image lesson comes from children. “When my daughter was two, someone came up to her and said, ‘You are so pretty,’” she says. “She responded, ‘I’m not pretty, I’m Rachel.’ Kids seem to intuitively know that they are what they are. She couldn’t fathom being called anything but her name.”Take Bloom’s challenge and try to re-create that for yourself. Allow yourself to run, play or splash around in a pool with zero concern about how you look doing it.
Go Shopping
A lot of women hang on to clothes that are too small, hoping they’ll lose weight and be able to fit into them again, says Bloom. Although it isn’t a bad idea to save your clothes, it might be best to box them up for now, because they could be sabotaging your body image.“Being assaulted every morning by things in your closet that don’t fit does not make for a positive start to the day,” she says. Instead, do a little shopping for clothes that are both comfortable and cute—in the size you are now.
Get a Massage
You already know that massage is a great stress reliever, but did you know that it could also make you feel better about your body? “Touch releases some really delicious hormones, like oxytocin, which flood us with feelings of well-being and safety,” says Tina Tessina, Ph.D., a psychotherapist and author in Long Beach, California. It’s common, she says, for women to leave a massage treatment feeling at peace with their bodies.Can’t afford a massage? “Holding a baby or even petting your dog or cat will also have the same effect,” she says.
Focus on How Your Body Feels
If body insecurities are affecting your ability to enjoy sex, Debby Herbenick, Ph.D., author of Because It Feels Good: A Woman’s Guide to Sexual Pleasure and Satisfaction, has the tip for you. Instead of agonizing about the way your body looks, think about the way it feels.“Stay in the moment,” she says. “Focus on how the sheets feel against your skin, how your hand feels on your partner’s back or butt and how your bodies feel as they move together.” This, she says, can increase arousal, reduce any body hang-ups you may have and make it easier to orgasm.
Try This $2.99 Bathroom Trick
One of the best things a woman can do to feel better about herself is to start the day with a healthy, positive view of herself, says Tessina. She suggests you try this one cheap and easy thing: Toss any unflattering, glaringly bright bathroom lightbulbs and replace them with softer bulbs. “It’s such a cheap and easy fix,” says Tessina, “and it can help you start the day feeling so much better about the way you look.”
Remember That Everyone Feels Inadequate Sometimes
Think you’re the only one who looks in the mirror and sometimes sees a sumo wrestler instead of the true beauty that you are? We promise, you’re not alone. Even the most physically fit people struggle with feelings of body inadequacy.
Here’s proof: According to a recent study, Spanish researchers found that many professional soccer players (you know, the ones with toned butts, rock-hard abs and to-die-for legs) reported dissatisfaction with their physique. The takeaway? Whether you’re overweight, super fit or somewhere in between, you may always be dissatisfied with your body unless you tackle what’s inside and find the confidence you need to accept yourself just the way you are.
Thursday, October 8, 2009
Friday, September 25, 2009
"Skinny" Pumpkin Chocolate Muffins
More fun Fall recipes...this one with a healthy twist!
Pumpkin Chocolate Muffins
Compliments of Brooke Griffin - The 2009 Fitness Universe Champion!
Pumpkin Chocolate Muffins
Compliments of Brooke Griffin - The 2009 Fitness Universe Champion!
Servings: 12, Cook Time: 20 minutes
1 Box Reduced Sugar Devil’s Food Cake Mix1 15oz. can of pure pumpkin(for smoother muffins, add 1 cup water as well)
Preheat oven to 450 degrees
Spray a 12 cup muffin pan with non-stick spray or line with muffin liners.
Pour entire contents of cake mix and pumpkin into a large bowl.
1 Box Reduced Sugar Devil’s Food Cake Mix1 15oz. can of pure pumpkin(for smoother muffins, add 1 cup water as well)
Preheat oven to 450 degrees
Spray a 12 cup muffin pan with non-stick spray or line with muffin liners.
Pour entire contents of cake mix and pumpkin into a large bowl.
If you are using water also add this as well.
Stir until smooth.
Transfer mixture into muffin pan and bake for 20 minutes. Enjoy!
Calories: 126, Fat: .5, Sugars: 18, Carbohydrates: 25, Protein: 2g, Fiber: .5
Calories: 126, Fat: .5, Sugars: 18, Carbohydrates: 25, Protein: 2g, Fiber: .5
Tuesday, September 22, 2009
Welcome Fall!
Fall is my all time FAVORITE season!
Something about the crisp air, foliage, pumpkins, hayrides, haunted houses, apples, FOOTBALL and a certain feeling of coziness. Not to mention the clothes are great ;) sweaters, jeans and boots!
Some of my favortite foods also fall into the "FALL" category so I decided to share :-)
Apple-Glazed Barbecued Baby Back Ribs
ACTIVE: 30 MIN
TOTAL TIME: 4 HRS 30 MIN
SERVINGS: 4
Make-Ahead
Ingredients
1/2 cup dark brown sugar
4 teaspoons garlic salt
4 teaspoons chile powder
2 teaspoons salt
1 teaspoon ground black pepper
1/2 teaspoon celery salt
1/4 teaspoon cayenne pepper
1/4 teaspoon cinnamon
1/4 teaspoon freshly ground white pepper
1/2 cup apple cider
1/4 cup apple jelly, melted
1/4 cup honey
2 racks baby back ribs (about 4 pounds total)
1 cup prepared barbecue sauce
Directions
Preheat the oven to 250°. In a bowl, mix 1/4 cup of the sugar with the garlic salt, chile powder, salt, black pepper, celery salt, cayenne, cinnamon and white pepper. Transfer 1 tablespoon of the spice mix to a medium bowl and whisk in the cider, apple jelly, honey and the remaining 1/4 cup of sugar.
Pull the membrane off the underside of each rib rack using a towel to grasp the corner. On a rimmed baking sheet, rub the ribs with the remaining spice mix; bake, meaty side up, for 2 1/2 hours. Pour the cider mixture over the ribs and turn to coat. Tightly cover with foil and bake for 1 hour.
Light a grill. Uncover the ribs and brush with the barbecue sauce; grill over moderate heat, turning and brushing, until glazed, 15 minutes. Let rest for 10 minutes, then cut between the bones and serve.
For those Wine advocates, me being one of them!
A bold red is a great choice for ribs, and Syrah’s sweet spice is delicious with this apple glaze.
Pumpkin Bread
This is my ALL time favorire Pumpkin Bread recipe...I'll make it until Thanksgiving and get requests for it every year.
Makes 3 loaves.
Ingredients
4 eggs
3 cups sugar
1 cup oil
1 cup water
2 cups packed pumpkin
3 1/2 cups flour
2 teaspoons baking soda
1 teaspoon baking powder
1 1/2 teaspoons salt
1 heaping teaspoon cinnamon
1/2 teaspoon nutmeg
4 teaspoons pumpkin pie spice
Directions
1Blend the first 5 ingredients together well.
2Sift the dry ingredients together and add to pumpkin mixture and mix well.
3Pour into greased loaf pans to 2/3 full.
4Bake 350 degrees for about 1 hour.
5Remove from oven and let set 10 minutes.
6Remove from loaf pans and wrap immediately in foil for 30 minutes.
7This makes the loaves unbelieveably moist.
8You can also add nuts or raisins or whatever else you want to..chocolate chips are fabulous!
Something about the crisp air, foliage, pumpkins, hayrides, haunted houses, apples, FOOTBALL and a certain feeling of coziness. Not to mention the clothes are great ;) sweaters, jeans and boots!
Some of my favortite foods also fall into the "FALL" category so I decided to share :-)
Apple-Glazed Barbecued Baby Back Ribs
ACTIVE: 30 MIN
TOTAL TIME: 4 HRS 30 MIN
SERVINGS: 4
Make-Ahead
Ingredients
1/2 cup dark brown sugar
4 teaspoons garlic salt
4 teaspoons chile powder
2 teaspoons salt
1 teaspoon ground black pepper
1/2 teaspoon celery salt
1/4 teaspoon cayenne pepper
1/4 teaspoon cinnamon
1/4 teaspoon freshly ground white pepper
1/2 cup apple cider
1/4 cup apple jelly, melted
1/4 cup honey
2 racks baby back ribs (about 4 pounds total)
1 cup prepared barbecue sauce
Directions
Preheat the oven to 250°. In a bowl, mix 1/4 cup of the sugar with the garlic salt, chile powder, salt, black pepper, celery salt, cayenne, cinnamon and white pepper. Transfer 1 tablespoon of the spice mix to a medium bowl and whisk in the cider, apple jelly, honey and the remaining 1/4 cup of sugar.
Pull the membrane off the underside of each rib rack using a towel to grasp the corner. On a rimmed baking sheet, rub the ribs with the remaining spice mix; bake, meaty side up, for 2 1/2 hours. Pour the cider mixture over the ribs and turn to coat. Tightly cover with foil and bake for 1 hour.
Light a grill. Uncover the ribs and brush with the barbecue sauce; grill over moderate heat, turning and brushing, until glazed, 15 minutes. Let rest for 10 minutes, then cut between the bones and serve.
For those Wine advocates, me being one of them!
A bold red is a great choice for ribs, and Syrah’s sweet spice is delicious with this apple glaze.
Pumpkin Bread
This is my ALL time favorire Pumpkin Bread recipe...I'll make it until Thanksgiving and get requests for it every year.
Makes 3 loaves.
Ingredients
4 eggs
3 cups sugar
1 cup oil
1 cup water
2 cups packed pumpkin
3 1/2 cups flour
2 teaspoons baking soda
1 teaspoon baking powder
1 1/2 teaspoons salt
1 heaping teaspoon cinnamon
1/2 teaspoon nutmeg
4 teaspoons pumpkin pie spice
Directions
1Blend the first 5 ingredients together well.
2Sift the dry ingredients together and add to pumpkin mixture and mix well.
3Pour into greased loaf pans to 2/3 full.
4Bake 350 degrees for about 1 hour.
5Remove from oven and let set 10 minutes.
6Remove from loaf pans and wrap immediately in foil for 30 minutes.
7This makes the loaves unbelieveably moist.
8You can also add nuts or raisins or whatever else you want to..chocolate chips are fabulous!
Tuesday, September 8, 2009
Is Love Real? What is Love?
Love is about control. Control is everything. Whether it be unrequited or reciprocated, love is about control. Self-control, emotional control. For unrequited love, it is a matter of schooling yourself so that your eyes don't shine so bright, your smile isn't so wide. It comes down to how much you want to hurt when you're around that person who has gained your affections and then tossed you aside like a ragdoll; how much you want them to see. So shutting down merely becomes a specialist's tool of self-preservation and ultimately, control.
When it comes to a love reciprocated, it is a game of self-control: be careful not to show how much you care about the other person lest you frighten them away, therefore control yourself and have it appear as though your affections are growing proportionally to the other person's.
However, love is not control.
Control is everything.
Therefore, love is not everything.
Scholars and poets have tried for centuries to describe what love is, how one should love, its origins, as well as the rate at which love should grow. "Love is not love which alters when in it, alteration finds" (Shakespeare).
Love is affection, but affection is not love. Love is trust - trusting someone not to break you entirely even though you have given then such power, such control. You give someone such control over you even if you know that ultimately they can betray it in a hearbeat.
Love is when a woman who has been married to the same man for fifty years dies, and then five years later her husband follows because he literally cannot live without her. Is that love? Being so intoxicated by someone that they become essential for one to continue on with daily activities? Or is that obsession? Perhaps love is obsession.
Love is merely the go-to term that people use to describe a strong feeling for another person but are too caught up and blinded to try and determine what it really is. Love and loathe are probably the two strongest things that one person can feel toward another, and yet it is "love" that is thrown around so flippantly. Throughout history and time countless men have told women about their undying love and faithfulness, but also throughout time, men and women alike have lied. So does that, therefore, mean that throughout time, love has lost power and meaning? Yes.. and no.
Yes, in that it has lost meaning because as time went by, as the centuries changed love has been taken lighter and lighter. Where once a sign of love was a woman giving herself wholly to her husband on their wedding night, it is now a trifling matter of whether or not she will swallow.
No, in that it has not lost its power. Love has always had the power to steal the breath from one's lips, and shake the foundations on which they have built their defenses, and cause one to make rash decisions that may be regretted later.
It is not fleeting or fickle, it is steadfast and strong. It is a fairytale told by mothers to their daughters. It is never giving up even when it seems all is lost. When you would rather nurse your broken heart than keep the pain at bay by running on hatred.
Love is about control. Control is everything. Love is Sacrifice. Obsession. Tolerance. Understanding. Abstract. Fear. Lie. Truth. Pain. Transcendental. Blind. Timeless. Short. Long. Real. Fake....Love is love, its real, it burns it aches it...is.
I do want the fairytale to tell my children.
"Love is not just to do something for someone - love is not a sort of sentimentality and kissing each other and so on. Love is to enter into covenant - to know that you accept me as I am, that you see my gift, but also that you see my wound. That you won't abandon me when you see my wound, that you won't just flatter me when you see my gift. But you accept me as I am with all that is fragile, all that is broken, all that is beautiful, too."
- Jean Vanier
Saturday, August 15, 2009
How to Cherish Precious Moments
Life is made up of special moments which make it worth living. Often, there are many cherished moments that are missed due to the stress and fast pace of daily living. In order to better cherish life’s precious moments, try these steps.
Things You'll Need:
Lust for Life
Step 1
Pay attention and always remember you only have so much time on this earth. This will help you identify magic moments so you can treasure them as they happen.
Step 2
Open your eyes and look at life with wonder. Everything around you is a miracle when you observe it with childlike wonder.
Step 3
Be cheerful and refuse to ride the roller coaster. It’s much easier to distinguish those lovely moments and appreciate them when you are optimistic.
Step 4
Laugh. Laughter will bring you happiness and happiness will bring more precious moments in your lifetime.
Step 5
Invite adventure and enjoy it. Like laughter, adventure will bring magic moments to your life and create memories that will last a lifetime.
Step 6
Smile. Smiling encourages people to talk to you, opening new doors and possibilities for cherished moments with new people.
Step 7
Life is precious and people come and go in your life only to bring you special moments. Welcome these people and what they bring to your life.
Step 8
Love the people who are close to you and even some who aren’t.
Things You'll Need:
Lust for Life
Step 1
Pay attention and always remember you only have so much time on this earth. This will help you identify magic moments so you can treasure them as they happen.
Step 2
Open your eyes and look at life with wonder. Everything around you is a miracle when you observe it with childlike wonder.
Step 3
Be cheerful and refuse to ride the roller coaster. It’s much easier to distinguish those lovely moments and appreciate them when you are optimistic.
Step 4
Laugh. Laughter will bring you happiness and happiness will bring more precious moments in your lifetime.
Step 5
Invite adventure and enjoy it. Like laughter, adventure will bring magic moments to your life and create memories that will last a lifetime.
Step 6
Smile. Smiling encourages people to talk to you, opening new doors and possibilities for cherished moments with new people.
Step 7
Life is precious and people come and go in your life only to bring you special moments. Welcome these people and what they bring to your life.
Step 8
Love the people who are close to you and even some who aren’t.
Saturday, August 8, 2009
"Skinny" Guacamole
For those of you who know me, it should come as no surprise that I would find a way to eat guacamole in a way that it fit into my diet ;)
Compliments of Brooke Griffin - The 2009 Fitness Universe Champion!
2 cups mashed avocado
1 large tomato, chopped
1/4 white onion, diced
1/4 cup chopped fresh cilantro
1/4 cup freshly squeezed lime juice
2 fresh jalapeno chile peppers, minced
3/4 Tsp salt
Combine the avocado, tomato, onion, cilantro, lime juice, peppers, and salt in a medium bowl. Stir until combined. Serve immediately.
1 large tomato, chopped
1/4 white onion, diced
1/4 cup chopped fresh cilantro
1/4 cup freshly squeezed lime juice
2 fresh jalapeno chile peppers, minced
3/4 Tsp salt
Combine the avocado, tomato, onion, cilantro, lime juice, peppers, and salt in a medium bowl. Stir until combined. Serve immediately.
Calories: 100, Protein: 1g, Carbohydrates: 7g, Fat: 8.5g, Fiber: 4g
Thursday, July 16, 2009
The Value of Having Something Real
Life is full of ups and downs, but isn't it enough to know that you have something or someone REAL to pick you up or just be there to come and cuddle up with. Life is hard.
We can get so caught up with day to day activities of life that we forget the value that an actual human being can offer. Whether it be the sound of someone specials voice, a simple touch, a glance into their eyes or just enjoying someones company - there is a certain peace that comes in knowing you have someone that cares for you.
We can get so caught up with day to day activities of life that we forget the value that an actual human being can offer. Whether it be the sound of someone specials voice, a simple touch, a glance into their eyes or just enjoying someones company - there is a certain peace that comes in knowing you have someone that cares for you.
Tuesday, July 7, 2009
16 weeks til the Fitness America Pageant!
Its official, training has begun!
For 16 weeks I will pump and grind, losing fat and gaining muscle to transform my body to enter my first fitness competition.
This will not be easy, I will have craving and be moody and cranky but I am truly blessed to have a strong will to succeed and have someone very special there to support and encourage me through this process.
Starting Day 137lbs
For 16 weeks I will pump and grind, losing fat and gaining muscle to transform my body to enter my first fitness competition.
This will not be easy, I will have craving and be moody and cranky but I am truly blessed to have a strong will to succeed and have someone very special there to support and encourage me through this process.
Starting Day 137lbs
Sunday, May 24, 2009
A Romantic Recession - 10 Top Tips For Romance on a Budget
We're all feeling the pinch of the recession, and we're all making cutbacks - but this doesn't mean that romance has to go out the window. You may not be able to afford to whisk her off to Barcelona for a weekend; you probably can't afford to pay for a golfing break in France for him - but there are hundreds of affordable - or even totally free - romantic things you can do for one another. Here are our Top 10 ideas for romance on a budget:
1. Create a Spa day at home. Every woman loves to be pampered at a Spa, but the cost of this can be astronomical. So why not create your very own treatment centre at home? Buy some inexpensive massage oils, read a book on technique (or find info on the web), and then spend a night massaging your loved one's aches away. The spa sauna can be replaced by a steaming bath, and you'll already have robes at home too!
2. Draw your loved one's portrait. Totally free, and totally romantic. Don't worry if you're not a budding Leonardo Da Vinci, as it's the effort that has gone into it that counts, not the final result. There are many guides available on how to draw a portrait - try Amazon, or just give Google a go. You'll be creating a masterpiece in no time.
3. Pen a poem. Poetry is timeless - a romantic cliché that really works. Don't think that it's just for women, either, as lots of men love receiving poems. It doesn't matter if the last time you wrote a few lines was when you wrote that limerick back at school - just sit down, think about what that special person really means to you, and write.
4. Take them back to the place you met. Now, if you happened to meet in the Penthouse of the 6-star hotel in Dubai, then this probably would break our budget - but if you met in the supermarket, in the park, or virtually anywhere else, this is a great, simple and inexpensive idea.
5. Create a treasure hunt. Bear with me on this, because it doesn't sound too romantic from the title, but it really is. Simply design a treasure hunt around your house - or, better still, combine it with the tip above and do it at the place you first met, or somewhere special to you both. With each clue, include a few words about how special he or she is to you, and make the final prize be...you!
6. Rent a special film. And by this I don't mean 'The Specialist' with Sharon Stone, I mean a movie that is special to you both in some way. Perhaps it was the film you saw on your first date, perhaps it contains 'your song' - whatever the reason, if it holds a special place in your heart, then a romantic night in front of the TV is a cheap and lovely idea.
7. Take a passport photo of yourself. And not just any passport photo - hold a sign that reads 'I Love You' in the photo booth. Present your loved one with this memento for them to carry in their wallet at all times - they're really romantic gifts for her or him.
8. Cook a romantic meal. Yes, this does happen to be perhaps the cliché of clichés, but it really is one of the best. It needn't be expensive, either, as sourcing some top quality ingredients is always a lot cheaper than a Michelin-starred hotel. OK, you may not be an award-wining chef, but as long as you have candlelight and your loved one, then the night will be perfect.
9. Surprise them at work. Turn up in their lunch hour, or just when they're about to finish for the day, and go for a walk or a small bite to eat. Not only will it be a surprise - which everyone loves - but it also shows that you love them so much you just can't keep away!
10. Write a love letter. Another timeless tip, and one that doesn't cost a dime. Simply get out your writing paper (remember that stuff?), your nicest pen, and write about how you feel. When it's done, you can either leave it on her pillow in the morning, send it to him at work, or present it to her yourself (perhaps with a rose in between your teeth too!).
~Alan Law
1. Create a Spa day at home. Every woman loves to be pampered at a Spa, but the cost of this can be astronomical. So why not create your very own treatment centre at home? Buy some inexpensive massage oils, read a book on technique (or find info on the web), and then spend a night massaging your loved one's aches away. The spa sauna can be replaced by a steaming bath, and you'll already have robes at home too!
2. Draw your loved one's portrait. Totally free, and totally romantic. Don't worry if you're not a budding Leonardo Da Vinci, as it's the effort that has gone into it that counts, not the final result. There are many guides available on how to draw a portrait - try Amazon, or just give Google a go. You'll be creating a masterpiece in no time.
3. Pen a poem. Poetry is timeless - a romantic cliché that really works. Don't think that it's just for women, either, as lots of men love receiving poems. It doesn't matter if the last time you wrote a few lines was when you wrote that limerick back at school - just sit down, think about what that special person really means to you, and write.
4. Take them back to the place you met. Now, if you happened to meet in the Penthouse of the 6-star hotel in Dubai, then this probably would break our budget - but if you met in the supermarket, in the park, or virtually anywhere else, this is a great, simple and inexpensive idea.
5. Create a treasure hunt. Bear with me on this, because it doesn't sound too romantic from the title, but it really is. Simply design a treasure hunt around your house - or, better still, combine it with the tip above and do it at the place you first met, or somewhere special to you both. With each clue, include a few words about how special he or she is to you, and make the final prize be...you!
6. Rent a special film. And by this I don't mean 'The Specialist' with Sharon Stone, I mean a movie that is special to you both in some way. Perhaps it was the film you saw on your first date, perhaps it contains 'your song' - whatever the reason, if it holds a special place in your heart, then a romantic night in front of the TV is a cheap and lovely idea.
7. Take a passport photo of yourself. And not just any passport photo - hold a sign that reads 'I Love You' in the photo booth. Present your loved one with this memento for them to carry in their wallet at all times - they're really romantic gifts for her or him.
8. Cook a romantic meal. Yes, this does happen to be perhaps the cliché of clichés, but it really is one of the best. It needn't be expensive, either, as sourcing some top quality ingredients is always a lot cheaper than a Michelin-starred hotel. OK, you may not be an award-wining chef, but as long as you have candlelight and your loved one, then the night will be perfect.
9. Surprise them at work. Turn up in their lunch hour, or just when they're about to finish for the day, and go for a walk or a small bite to eat. Not only will it be a surprise - which everyone loves - but it also shows that you love them so much you just can't keep away!
10. Write a love letter. Another timeless tip, and one that doesn't cost a dime. Simply get out your writing paper (remember that stuff?), your nicest pen, and write about how you feel. When it's done, you can either leave it on her pillow in the morning, send it to him at work, or present it to her yourself (perhaps with a rose in between your teeth too!).
~Alan Law
Monday, May 11, 2009
Is Chemistry Real?
Is Chemistry Real?
Definitely...Absolutley!
For years I have been wondering if "it" that unexplainable chemistry that you hear about but don't find every day, where the connection just simply clicks actualy existed.
For all those who have pondered the same question I am here to tell you that YES, it is out there. It may not be easy to find and definitely is not something that happens every day. Its more of those once in a blue moon, one in a million type experiences that sweeps you off your feet and leaves you on the edge longing for more.
Chemistry at its best is something that is so chraged, people are wondering if they need to pour water on you.
Definitely...Absolutley!
For years I have been wondering if "it" that unexplainable chemistry that you hear about but don't find every day, where the connection just simply clicks actualy existed.
For all those who have pondered the same question I am here to tell you that YES, it is out there. It may not be easy to find and definitely is not something that happens every day. Its more of those once in a blue moon, one in a million type experiences that sweeps you off your feet and leaves you on the edge longing for more.
Chemistry at its best is something that is so chraged, people are wondering if they need to pour water on you.
Monday, May 4, 2009
What is Romance?
Being romantic is hard work. Some people think that romance is easy, that anybody can be romantic with very little work. This is not true. To be romantic there are a lot of things you must know about romance and a lot of situations you must prepare for. For example, you and your beloved plan a date for next Friday night. You ask where she'd like to go. "Oh, I don't know," is her reply. "Surprise me. I know you'll think of something special." What do you do? Give up? Read on and learn the secrets of romance.
What Is Romance?
Romance is a nebulous thing with the curious property of being describable but not definable. We won't muck with your head and try to suggest there's an ultimate definitive definition out there. Some people will try to do just that and come up with some tidy little definition, like, "Romance is showing you care." Sure, it sounds good at first, but although draping your coat over a puddle and asking if she remembered to brush her teeth that morning may be actions triggered by this same motivation, they rate distinctly differently on the romance scale.
Although it's not so much a definition, as it is no more precise than the word "romance" itself, one way to describe romance succinctly is "what women want out of a relationship." In other words, men aren't romantic, and if you're a man, that's why you need this guide. If you're a woman, of course, you were born with an innate knowledge of this stuff and need not read further.
But though romance may not be definable, there are still some hard fast rules. Below, we have documented many of the atomic elements of romance. Mix these ingredients up, and you've got it.
Intrinsic Romance
Some things are inherently romantic, like hearts. This is very useful, because you can pile things upon the object of your affections and win romance points without expending any additional effort or thought. The trick is to figure out what is romantic and what is not. There is a basic rule of thumb to follow: if it's cool, it's not romantic. For example, high powered rifles are not romantic. Science fiction is not romantic. DVD players are not romantic unless they're playing Sleepless In Seattle.
But a whole ton of things are intrinsically romantic, and you should use them to your advantage.
Cute Things
Teddy bears are romantic. Puppies are romantic. Cherubic baby archers are romantic. Those photographs where two little kids exhibit an unnatural affection for each other and only the roses are in color are romantic.
Taking advantage of the intrinsic romance in cute things obviously depends upon recognizing which things are cute. The rule is simple. Small things are cute. If you see a food product in a grocery store that comes in a smaller package than usual, get it, because there's a very good chance it's cute. The same goes for travel size shampoo, toothpaste, and so on. Find a store that sells doll house stuff, and your supply of cute things can be limitless.
Low Light
Candles are romantic. Sunrises and sunsets are romantic. Any kind of low light, you see, is romantic, hence why dinner dates after dark are more romantic than lunch dates at noon. Combine low light sources, and it stands to reason that the air of romance will be so thick, your beloved will be blind to anything else but the radiance of her shimmering knight in armor. Open the curtains on a sunset and light some candles, and you might even be able to get away with watching a football game during dinner.
Red
Red is romantic, because red is the color of love and passion. Consider roses. Red roses mean, "I love you." Yellow roses mean, "Let's just be friends," which is synonymous with, "You are irritating, and I hate you." So you do not want to be wrong. Get her red roses, red ribbons, red balloons, red teddy bears, red puppies, and red tickets to the World Series, and she'll fall hopelessly under your spell.
Background Music
Background music is romantic, and note the word "background," because not just any music is romantic. For music to be romantic, it must be too soft to hear. Also, it may not be lively or funny or good. Elevator music is the most romantic genre of music out there.
Chocolates
Chocolates are not only romantic, they're complimentary. When you give a box of chocolates to your beloved, it says, "You could pig out on this tub of lard and bloat out to three tons, but you'd still be the apple of my eye." It doesn't matter if it's true -- it's the message that counts. But the real reason to give your loved one chocolates is because any loved one worth her salt will turn right around and offer you some. It's a win-win no matter how you look at it. Buy her a red one shaped like a heart, and you're in like Flynn.
The Most Intrinsically Romantic Thing Ever
Based on the data above, the single most romantic thing in the universe can be calculated scientifically. It is, simply, a small red candle made out of chocolate and shaped like a teddy bear holding a heart with scribbles all over it that plays a tune when you wind it up. Toss her one of these at sunset on your way to a frat party, and you'll be able to stay out all night and still strengthen your relationship.
Impracticality
Practical things are not romantic. Why do you think blenders and toaster ovens are so notoriously unromantic? Because they have an alternative use, of course. But get her a poofy thing that sits on her dresser behind her jewelry box, never to be touched or moved again, and she'll melt in your arms.
Personal Stuff
Romance is personal. To be romantic, you must be personal and do personal kind of things. It's sort of romantic to buy a mooshy greeting card for your loved one, but to be really romantic, you should sign it. As far as birthday presents and so forth go, you can make the gift personal by carefully considering your beloved's interests and choosing a gift uniquely suited to her personality. Flowers always works.
Your Time
One of the required ingredients of romance is your time. Nope, there's no way out of it.
Blindness
An important part of romance is selective blindness. You must not acknowledge anything about your beloved that could possibly be construed as a fault. If a nightmare suddenly woke her up from a twenty minute nap after four straight days of not sleeping at all, don't even say she looks "tired." If "radiant" isn't the least of your comments about her appearance, you're sunk. If she's rude to someone without cause, prattle on about how much nerve that other person had for being such a big fat jerk. If she spilled pizza sauce on her chin, don't say a word, nor give any other indication that her complexion is amiss. Paradoxically, if she gets home, looks in the mirror, and finds it still there, she'll hate you for not telling her, so you'd better find a surreptitious way of removing it without her ever noticing -- and afterward, keep that stray globule of pizza sauce your best kept secret to the day you die.
Remembering Birthdays and Anniversaries
Remembering your beloved's birthday and your anniversary isn't so much romantic as it is a stay of execution, for surely you'll forget someday, and when you do, you'll find out how not romantic cold shoulders and tears are. Your safest bet is to find someone whose birthday is on Christmas, then marry her on New Year's Day, because nobody forgets those days.
Pet Names - DOnt ever call me a PET...period!
Style
Even if you get all the essentials of romance right, a lack of style could still foul you up. Try to be as "suave" and "debonair" as you possibly can, as this is the optimum romantic style. Be as much like James Bond as you can, except for the infidelity, compulsive gambling, chain smoking, and killing people parts. Be elegant, humble, refined, independent, thoughtful, responsible, compassionate, spontaneous, reputable, graceful, polite, literate, entertaining, discreet, funny, upstanding, sensitive, fun, sophisticated, pleasant, selfless, reverent, and genuine. And if you can't, fake it. And don't overdo it. Subtlety is essential. If she doesn't notice, you can always find an opportune moment to work a whispered pointer into the conversation, such as, "Notice how elegant, humble, refined, independent, thoughtful, responsible, compassionate, spontaneous, reputable, graceful, polite, literate, entertaining, discreet, funny, upstanding, sensitive, fun, sophisticated, pleasant, selfless, reverent, and genuine I am."
Better yet, follow the old adage, "Show, don't tell," and demonstrate these admirable attributes, each in turn, so she'll be sure to take notice. Wear a tuxedo, bow to the object of your affections, kiss her hand, and say, "Why did the chicken cross the road? But seriously, you are looking beautiful today, and may I suggest we adjourn and spontaneously give thanks to God while I empathize with your inner woman in private, if indeed you'd consent to receive the fervent attentions of my lowly self? And afterward, we could go to Disneyworld."
Not Having Food On Your Head
It's disturbingly common for romance counselors to neglect to mention this essential romance ingredient, in spite of how terribly important it is. Other romance guides blissfully skirt around this important tip, potentially leading their unwary followers to a fatal misstep. The unfortunate fact is that if you do everything else right but have a chicken pot pie oozing down over your ears, it's not romantic at all. It's embarrassing to the object of your affections, and embarrassment overrides romance. So when you've set the mood, the lighting, the background music, and put yourself in a chivalrous frame of mind, don't forget to make sure there are no edibles above the neck, or your efforts will be in vain.
~Samuel Stoddard
What Is Romance?
Romance is a nebulous thing with the curious property of being describable but not definable. We won't muck with your head and try to suggest there's an ultimate definitive definition out there. Some people will try to do just that and come up with some tidy little definition, like, "Romance is showing you care." Sure, it sounds good at first, but although draping your coat over a puddle and asking if she remembered to brush her teeth that morning may be actions triggered by this same motivation, they rate distinctly differently on the romance scale.
Although it's not so much a definition, as it is no more precise than the word "romance" itself, one way to describe romance succinctly is "what women want out of a relationship." In other words, men aren't romantic, and if you're a man, that's why you need this guide. If you're a woman, of course, you were born with an innate knowledge of this stuff and need not read further.
But though romance may not be definable, there are still some hard fast rules. Below, we have documented many of the atomic elements of romance. Mix these ingredients up, and you've got it.
Intrinsic Romance
Some things are inherently romantic, like hearts. This is very useful, because you can pile things upon the object of your affections and win romance points without expending any additional effort or thought. The trick is to figure out what is romantic and what is not. There is a basic rule of thumb to follow: if it's cool, it's not romantic. For example, high powered rifles are not romantic. Science fiction is not romantic. DVD players are not romantic unless they're playing Sleepless In Seattle.
But a whole ton of things are intrinsically romantic, and you should use them to your advantage.
Cute Things
Teddy bears are romantic. Puppies are romantic. Cherubic baby archers are romantic. Those photographs where two little kids exhibit an unnatural affection for each other and only the roses are in color are romantic.
Taking advantage of the intrinsic romance in cute things obviously depends upon recognizing which things are cute. The rule is simple. Small things are cute. If you see a food product in a grocery store that comes in a smaller package than usual, get it, because there's a very good chance it's cute. The same goes for travel size shampoo, toothpaste, and so on. Find a store that sells doll house stuff, and your supply of cute things can be limitless.
Low Light
Candles are romantic. Sunrises and sunsets are romantic. Any kind of low light, you see, is romantic, hence why dinner dates after dark are more romantic than lunch dates at noon. Combine low light sources, and it stands to reason that the air of romance will be so thick, your beloved will be blind to anything else but the radiance of her shimmering knight in armor. Open the curtains on a sunset and light some candles, and you might even be able to get away with watching a football game during dinner.
Red
Red is romantic, because red is the color of love and passion. Consider roses. Red roses mean, "I love you." Yellow roses mean, "Let's just be friends," which is synonymous with, "You are irritating, and I hate you." So you do not want to be wrong. Get her red roses, red ribbons, red balloons, red teddy bears, red puppies, and red tickets to the World Series, and she'll fall hopelessly under your spell.
Background Music
Background music is romantic, and note the word "background," because not just any music is romantic. For music to be romantic, it must be too soft to hear. Also, it may not be lively or funny or good. Elevator music is the most romantic genre of music out there.
Chocolates
Chocolates are not only romantic, they're complimentary. When you give a box of chocolates to your beloved, it says, "You could pig out on this tub of lard and bloat out to three tons, but you'd still be the apple of my eye." It doesn't matter if it's true -- it's the message that counts. But the real reason to give your loved one chocolates is because any loved one worth her salt will turn right around and offer you some. It's a win-win no matter how you look at it. Buy her a red one shaped like a heart, and you're in like Flynn.
The Most Intrinsically Romantic Thing Ever
Based on the data above, the single most romantic thing in the universe can be calculated scientifically. It is, simply, a small red candle made out of chocolate and shaped like a teddy bear holding a heart with scribbles all over it that plays a tune when you wind it up. Toss her one of these at sunset on your way to a frat party, and you'll be able to stay out all night and still strengthen your relationship.
Impracticality
Practical things are not romantic. Why do you think blenders and toaster ovens are so notoriously unromantic? Because they have an alternative use, of course. But get her a poofy thing that sits on her dresser behind her jewelry box, never to be touched or moved again, and she'll melt in your arms.
Personal Stuff
Romance is personal. To be romantic, you must be personal and do personal kind of things. It's sort of romantic to buy a mooshy greeting card for your loved one, but to be really romantic, you should sign it. As far as birthday presents and so forth go, you can make the gift personal by carefully considering your beloved's interests and choosing a gift uniquely suited to her personality. Flowers always works.
Your Time
One of the required ingredients of romance is your time. Nope, there's no way out of it.
Blindness
An important part of romance is selective blindness. You must not acknowledge anything about your beloved that could possibly be construed as a fault. If a nightmare suddenly woke her up from a twenty minute nap after four straight days of not sleeping at all, don't even say she looks "tired." If "radiant" isn't the least of your comments about her appearance, you're sunk. If she's rude to someone without cause, prattle on about how much nerve that other person had for being such a big fat jerk. If she spilled pizza sauce on her chin, don't say a word, nor give any other indication that her complexion is amiss. Paradoxically, if she gets home, looks in the mirror, and finds it still there, she'll hate you for not telling her, so you'd better find a surreptitious way of removing it without her ever noticing -- and afterward, keep that stray globule of pizza sauce your best kept secret to the day you die.
Remembering Birthdays and Anniversaries
Remembering your beloved's birthday and your anniversary isn't so much romantic as it is a stay of execution, for surely you'll forget someday, and when you do, you'll find out how not romantic cold shoulders and tears are. Your safest bet is to find someone whose birthday is on Christmas, then marry her on New Year's Day, because nobody forgets those days.
Pet Names - DOnt ever call me a PET...period!
Style
Even if you get all the essentials of romance right, a lack of style could still foul you up. Try to be as "suave" and "debonair" as you possibly can, as this is the optimum romantic style. Be as much like James Bond as you can, except for the infidelity, compulsive gambling, chain smoking, and killing people parts. Be elegant, humble, refined, independent, thoughtful, responsible, compassionate, spontaneous, reputable, graceful, polite, literate, entertaining, discreet, funny, upstanding, sensitive, fun, sophisticated, pleasant, selfless, reverent, and genuine. And if you can't, fake it. And don't overdo it. Subtlety is essential. If she doesn't notice, you can always find an opportune moment to work a whispered pointer into the conversation, such as, "Notice how elegant, humble, refined, independent, thoughtful, responsible, compassionate, spontaneous, reputable, graceful, polite, literate, entertaining, discreet, funny, upstanding, sensitive, fun, sophisticated, pleasant, selfless, reverent, and genuine I am."
Better yet, follow the old adage, "Show, don't tell," and demonstrate these admirable attributes, each in turn, so she'll be sure to take notice. Wear a tuxedo, bow to the object of your affections, kiss her hand, and say, "Why did the chicken cross the road? But seriously, you are looking beautiful today, and may I suggest we adjourn and spontaneously give thanks to God while I empathize with your inner woman in private, if indeed you'd consent to receive the fervent attentions of my lowly self? And afterward, we could go to Disneyworld."
Not Having Food On Your Head
It's disturbingly common for romance counselors to neglect to mention this essential romance ingredient, in spite of how terribly important it is. Other romance guides blissfully skirt around this important tip, potentially leading their unwary followers to a fatal misstep. The unfortunate fact is that if you do everything else right but have a chicken pot pie oozing down over your ears, it's not romantic at all. It's embarrassing to the object of your affections, and embarrassment overrides romance. So when you've set the mood, the lighting, the background music, and put yourself in a chivalrous frame of mind, don't forget to make sure there are no edibles above the neck, or your efforts will be in vain.
~Samuel Stoddard
Tuesday, April 7, 2009
Real Goals Last Longer Than New Year's Resolutions
I recently came across this article and thought it was fitting to my "Real" theme. We are 4 months into the New Year...How are those New Years resolutions going? Perhaps this article can help set a new realistic expectation.
"Real Goals Last Longer Than New Year's Resolutions"
New Year's resolutions seem to guarantee a new start to old habits. It's a pessimistic, almost curmudgeonly attitude, yet, the evidence abounds. There is always a sudden rise in health club attendance in early January followed by the slow drop off by mid-February when club regulars can get back on the machines without waiting.
Collectively, we vow to diet, get more fit and live healthier lifestyles, but the obesity of adults and children in this country continues to be a problem. We promise ourselves this will be the year we earn more money, get a better job or do whatever we determine will make us truly happy.
How come we can't get resolute about our resolutions? Of course, some people do manage to ring in the New Year with lasting change, but they just make the rest of us feel bad about not even remembering what our resolutions were. In reality, New Year's Day is just like any other. Time doesn't stand still, nothing overtly magical happens, there is no unusual delineation as the clock strikes midnight indicating a new year just began. With the excitement of New Year's Day comes a renewed hopefulness that this year will be different or better, maybe just easier. In short order, though, the enthusiasm fades and old habits rise to the surface again.
When creating goals, many of us really engage in wishful thinking. Some craft a desired outcome then throw it out to the universe as if it will be caught, fulfilled and sent back neatly and completely packaged for success. The goal has no more chance of happening than winning a lottery without buying a ticket.
The real secret to change is how the resolution, goal or desired outcome is constructed. Achievable goals are realistic, can be carried out by the person making the goal, are measurable and have carefully thought out consequences. The last part, consequences, is essential to success and almost always overlooked. Hence the adage, "Watch what you wish for, you just might get it."
Try a different approach to resolutions this year with a five-step method for change based on basic principles of neuro-linguistic programming. Simply put, this method relies on specificity and positive language to develop your goals. Honestly answering the questions in each step will help you understand where you sabotage yourself, the obstacles to success and what will or won't happen if you make the change you want.
This process takes time so don't expect to complete it in one sitting, unless you can dedicate a significant block of time. It may seem somewhat elaborate and you may tire of working through it, but give yourself a gift this year and see it through to the end.
1) Specifically, what is the desired goal or result you want to achieve?
Write down the problem you want to change or something you desire. Make sure you write in positive terms, avoiding negative words like don't or can't. The fact is our brains have a hard time translating negative words into positive action. For instance, if someone said, "Don't think of a pink elephant" could you do it? Could you not think of it? No, you would think of or picture a pink elephant. The same thing happens when you write goals in negative terms. Take the time to express what you desire as specifically as you can using positive words.
To clarify your goal ask the following questions and change the goal until you know beyond doubt it's really what you want:
How do you know this is what you want?
How do you know when you have it?
What stops you from changing to get it?
2) Can my goal or desired result be initiated and maintained by me?
Using the example of winning the lottery, it is possible for you to initiate this goal by buying a ticket. It is not possible, however, to control anything beyond that point. Whether you win or lose is not up to you. After buying the ticket, the rest of this goal is in the hands of luck or chance. The other way we sabotage goals is by relying on someone else to begin the necessary sequence of events. If you cannot take action until someone else takes action first, then the goal is designed to fail. The key to this step is refining your goal so it begins and stays with you.
In this step, also ask yourself what habits you may need to change to get the desired result and what you want to preserve when achieving the goal. In other words, what are you willing to change and/or not change to get what you want?
3) What resources do I have available? Who or what can help?
This is the part where you can draw on people, places or things that are existing or new to help get what you want. Be careful to keep this within in your control as well. While you may need a resource you don't currently have, the important factor is whether you can initiate the action necessary to meet a new mentor, apply for college or contact an organization that can help you.
4) How will I know I achieved my goal or desired outcome?
This may seem a funny question to ask because surely we would know when a goal was achieved. Think back, though, to things you wished for and then forgot about that friends or family reminded you about or goals you achieved that also came with unwanted (watch what you wish for) elements. Writing goals down helps us remember what we're going after.
The thought, feeling or vision of what you desire must be so real that you can see it, hear it or touch it in your mind. You must fully form it as if you already have it.
5) What are the consequences of my goal or outcome?
You're almost done so stay with the process and answer all of the following questions. It is important not to skip any of the questions and to make sure you really consider each type of consequence. As necessary, go back and refine your original goal to make sure it captures all the desired elements of your success.
What will happen if you achieve your desired goal or outcome?
What won't happen if you achieve your desired goal or outcome?
What will happen if you don't achieve your desired goal or outcome?
What won't happen if you don't achieve your desired goal or outcome?
How do you know it's worth having?
What will be different as a result of having your desired goal or outcome?
How will it affect you, your life, your family, your friends, your job?
This goal-setting method is for those serious about making change in their lives. It is not for those whose idea of financial planning is buying lottery tickets. Wishful thinking, luck, serendipity and throwing it out to the universe are fun and whimsical ways to try conjuring up change, but the results may be as haphazard as the approach.The only resolution you need this year is to commit yourself to this goal-setting process. You have nothing to lose except old patterns of thinking, sabotaging beliefs, inaction and a health club membership you may no longer use.
"Real Goals Last Longer Than New Year's Resolutions"
New Year's resolutions seem to guarantee a new start to old habits. It's a pessimistic, almost curmudgeonly attitude, yet, the evidence abounds. There is always a sudden rise in health club attendance in early January followed by the slow drop off by mid-February when club regulars can get back on the machines without waiting.
Collectively, we vow to diet, get more fit and live healthier lifestyles, but the obesity of adults and children in this country continues to be a problem. We promise ourselves this will be the year we earn more money, get a better job or do whatever we determine will make us truly happy.
How come we can't get resolute about our resolutions? Of course, some people do manage to ring in the New Year with lasting change, but they just make the rest of us feel bad about not even remembering what our resolutions were. In reality, New Year's Day is just like any other. Time doesn't stand still, nothing overtly magical happens, there is no unusual delineation as the clock strikes midnight indicating a new year just began. With the excitement of New Year's Day comes a renewed hopefulness that this year will be different or better, maybe just easier. In short order, though, the enthusiasm fades and old habits rise to the surface again.
When creating goals, many of us really engage in wishful thinking. Some craft a desired outcome then throw it out to the universe as if it will be caught, fulfilled and sent back neatly and completely packaged for success. The goal has no more chance of happening than winning a lottery without buying a ticket.
The real secret to change is how the resolution, goal or desired outcome is constructed. Achievable goals are realistic, can be carried out by the person making the goal, are measurable and have carefully thought out consequences. The last part, consequences, is essential to success and almost always overlooked. Hence the adage, "Watch what you wish for, you just might get it."
Try a different approach to resolutions this year with a five-step method for change based on basic principles of neuro-linguistic programming. Simply put, this method relies on specificity and positive language to develop your goals. Honestly answering the questions in each step will help you understand where you sabotage yourself, the obstacles to success and what will or won't happen if you make the change you want.
This process takes time so don't expect to complete it in one sitting, unless you can dedicate a significant block of time. It may seem somewhat elaborate and you may tire of working through it, but give yourself a gift this year and see it through to the end.
1) Specifically, what is the desired goal or result you want to achieve?
Write down the problem you want to change or something you desire. Make sure you write in positive terms, avoiding negative words like don't or can't. The fact is our brains have a hard time translating negative words into positive action. For instance, if someone said, "Don't think of a pink elephant" could you do it? Could you not think of it? No, you would think of or picture a pink elephant. The same thing happens when you write goals in negative terms. Take the time to express what you desire as specifically as you can using positive words.
To clarify your goal ask the following questions and change the goal until you know beyond doubt it's really what you want:
How do you know this is what you want?
How do you know when you have it?
What stops you from changing to get it?
2) Can my goal or desired result be initiated and maintained by me?
Using the example of winning the lottery, it is possible for you to initiate this goal by buying a ticket. It is not possible, however, to control anything beyond that point. Whether you win or lose is not up to you. After buying the ticket, the rest of this goal is in the hands of luck or chance. The other way we sabotage goals is by relying on someone else to begin the necessary sequence of events. If you cannot take action until someone else takes action first, then the goal is designed to fail. The key to this step is refining your goal so it begins and stays with you.
In this step, also ask yourself what habits you may need to change to get the desired result and what you want to preserve when achieving the goal. In other words, what are you willing to change and/or not change to get what you want?
3) What resources do I have available? Who or what can help?
This is the part where you can draw on people, places or things that are existing or new to help get what you want. Be careful to keep this within in your control as well. While you may need a resource you don't currently have, the important factor is whether you can initiate the action necessary to meet a new mentor, apply for college or contact an organization that can help you.
4) How will I know I achieved my goal or desired outcome?
This may seem a funny question to ask because surely we would know when a goal was achieved. Think back, though, to things you wished for and then forgot about that friends or family reminded you about or goals you achieved that also came with unwanted (watch what you wish for) elements. Writing goals down helps us remember what we're going after.
The thought, feeling or vision of what you desire must be so real that you can see it, hear it or touch it in your mind. You must fully form it as if you already have it.
5) What are the consequences of my goal or outcome?
You're almost done so stay with the process and answer all of the following questions. It is important not to skip any of the questions and to make sure you really consider each type of consequence. As necessary, go back and refine your original goal to make sure it captures all the desired elements of your success.
What will happen if you achieve your desired goal or outcome?
What won't happen if you achieve your desired goal or outcome?
What will happen if you don't achieve your desired goal or outcome?
What won't happen if you don't achieve your desired goal or outcome?
How do you know it's worth having?
What will be different as a result of having your desired goal or outcome?
How will it affect you, your life, your family, your friends, your job?
This goal-setting method is for those serious about making change in their lives. It is not for those whose idea of financial planning is buying lottery tickets. Wishful thinking, luck, serendipity and throwing it out to the universe are fun and whimsical ways to try conjuring up change, but the results may be as haphazard as the approach.The only resolution you need this year is to commit yourself to this goal-setting process. You have nothing to lose except old patterns of thinking, sabotaging beliefs, inaction and a health club membership you may no longer use.
Monday, March 30, 2009
The Velocity Diet
The Velocity Diet
As I mentioned last month, I have chosen to enter a fitness competition this fall. I need to jump start things a little bit and have chosen to do the Velocity Diet during the month of April.
Wish me luck!
The Velocity Diet was created by Chris Shugart, Tim Ziegenfuss. PhD and Chad Waterbury.
Program Overview
Rapid body transformation requires two things for success:
1. A state-of-the-art diet and training program, based on hardcore science, and...
2. Your commitment to stick with the program.
They providing the program. You're providing the commitment.
Chris Shugart built The Velocity Diet system with the help of two world-class experts, exercise physiologist Dr. Tim Ziegenfuss and expert strength and conditioning coach Chad Waterbury.
The program is rock solid and complete, and requires nothing other than you doing it as outlined.
The program is comprised of two phases: a 4-week base program and a 2-week transition period, for a total of 6 weeks.
The eating plan is a protein-sparing liquid diet that provides one solid meal per week.
The training program consists of 3 weightlifting workouts per week and 1 bodyweight exercise session, called The V-Burn Challenge, which is performed on Saturday or Sunday.
You'll also do NEPA walks and NEPA activities each day. NEPA stands for Non-Exercise Physical Activity, and is included to further boost metabolic rate thus burning additional fat, and to speed recovery from training.
All of these concepts will be laid out in detail in other parts of the program.
For more information and to get your recipe for success, see www. t-nation.com
As I mentioned last month, I have chosen to enter a fitness competition this fall. I need to jump start things a little bit and have chosen to do the Velocity Diet during the month of April.
Wish me luck!
The Velocity Diet was created by Chris Shugart, Tim Ziegenfuss. PhD and Chad Waterbury.
Program Overview
Rapid body transformation requires two things for success:
1. A state-of-the-art diet and training program, based on hardcore science, and...
2. Your commitment to stick with the program.
They providing the program. You're providing the commitment.
Chris Shugart built The Velocity Diet system with the help of two world-class experts, exercise physiologist Dr. Tim Ziegenfuss and expert strength and conditioning coach Chad Waterbury.
The program is rock solid and complete, and requires nothing other than you doing it as outlined.
The program is comprised of two phases: a 4-week base program and a 2-week transition period, for a total of 6 weeks.
The eating plan is a protein-sparing liquid diet that provides one solid meal per week.
The training program consists of 3 weightlifting workouts per week and 1 bodyweight exercise session, called The V-Burn Challenge, which is performed on Saturday or Sunday.
You'll also do NEPA walks and NEPA activities each day. NEPA stands for Non-Exercise Physical Activity, and is included to further boost metabolic rate thus burning additional fat, and to speed recovery from training.
All of these concepts will be laid out in detail in other parts of the program.
For more information and to get your recipe for success, see www. t-nation.com
Sunday, March 29, 2009
Being Yourself – Being “REAL”
I recenltly put this theory to the test so to speak. Of course it had to do in the dating context, but I went on whim and just let it flow. What do you have to lose. If someone dosn't like you for who you truly are then asta la vista! Thus far this has led to one of the best experiences thus far in my life. Of course the companion plays a big part as well, but it feels so good to just...be me.
Being yourself is something which can, and should, come naturally, but often this is more difficult than it sounds. As young children, we express ourselves quite spontaneously, but for many adults this is sometimes a great challenge. Life has molded us to put up walls, fences, bridges which is actually quite silly since most the time these fronts can keep us from truly experiencing something amazing.
Be playful! Be who you are, and do what you feel. Being yourself doesn't need to be a chore. Be happy with who you are, and you are more than half way there. To some extent, the rest is automatic. You're already being yourself, at this very moment, but there is no reason to believe that who you are ends with who you think you are, right now. We can all grow beyond certain limitations, and we should give ourselves the chance to do so. Being yourself, however, also means affirming just that, including all your natural talents and proclivities, so that you can make the best possible use of your own best assets. You don't have to pretend to be something you're not, in order to be the someone who you are. It's not necessary. In the final analysis, being yourself is simply that. We all have things we're good at, or enjoy doing, and other things which we'd rather not have to deal with at all. Affirm your own strengths and preferences, being comfortable with yourself, as well as trying to satisfy others, and the rest will come naturally.
When we can share a little more of our true selves with others, without what we share offending the other person, we create a sense of kinship which helps to heal the separation between us. Being honest, or genuine, is the capstone of being yourself. If you must always remain aloof of others, by keeping your true identity a secret from everybody, or by hoarding your natural gifts and hiding what you know from them, it makes it very difficult to be yourself at all. Being authentic requires that you trust others somewhat, and this is often difficult, since people must render themselves vulnerable when they open up to others, but it is exactly what you must do, if you wish to drop your pretenses and really be yourself. There are often consequences for saying the wrong thing, when we are trying to be candid, however. It is therefore desirable to consider the possible impact of what you are about to say, before you speak. Gestures, of all kinds, can likewise be mis-interpreted. Nor is every kind of behavior appropriate, no matter who you really are. This is why it can be so difficult to be yourself. It takes guts! On the other hand, I am relatively sure that you are better at it than anyone else around.
So, what does it really mean to be yourself? If our instincts are dulled from years of living as part of human culture, does this mean that there is no hope for us to be natural? Thankfully, this isn't the case. What's required is actually fairly simple, in fact, it's simplicity itself, or rather, childlike innocence. Learning to play more, being more open and less pretentious, re-discovering and cultivating a sense of awe and wonder about life, and losing a little self-importance, will awaken your inner child, and allow you to be far more natural in your demeanor. This is the essence of being yourself! Perhaps, to some extent, "being yourself" is something you do, when you don't have anything else left which you must do, which might keep you from being at-ease and natural, but it doesn't have to end there. When people learn to set their masks aside, to reveal a little of who they really are, they create opportunities for personal growth, and interpersonal relationships, which might not otherwise exist. Therein lies the magic power of being yourself.
Being yourself is something which can, and should, come naturally, but often this is more difficult than it sounds. As young children, we express ourselves quite spontaneously, but for many adults this is sometimes a great challenge. Life has molded us to put up walls, fences, bridges which is actually quite silly since most the time these fronts can keep us from truly experiencing something amazing.
Be playful! Be who you are, and do what you feel. Being yourself doesn't need to be a chore. Be happy with who you are, and you are more than half way there. To some extent, the rest is automatic. You're already being yourself, at this very moment, but there is no reason to believe that who you are ends with who you think you are, right now. We can all grow beyond certain limitations, and we should give ourselves the chance to do so. Being yourself, however, also means affirming just that, including all your natural talents and proclivities, so that you can make the best possible use of your own best assets. You don't have to pretend to be something you're not, in order to be the someone who you are. It's not necessary. In the final analysis, being yourself is simply that. We all have things we're good at, or enjoy doing, and other things which we'd rather not have to deal with at all. Affirm your own strengths and preferences, being comfortable with yourself, as well as trying to satisfy others, and the rest will come naturally.
When we can share a little more of our true selves with others, without what we share offending the other person, we create a sense of kinship which helps to heal the separation between us. Being honest, or genuine, is the capstone of being yourself. If you must always remain aloof of others, by keeping your true identity a secret from everybody, or by hoarding your natural gifts and hiding what you know from them, it makes it very difficult to be yourself at all. Being authentic requires that you trust others somewhat, and this is often difficult, since people must render themselves vulnerable when they open up to others, but it is exactly what you must do, if you wish to drop your pretenses and really be yourself. There are often consequences for saying the wrong thing, when we are trying to be candid, however. It is therefore desirable to consider the possible impact of what you are about to say, before you speak. Gestures, of all kinds, can likewise be mis-interpreted. Nor is every kind of behavior appropriate, no matter who you really are. This is why it can be so difficult to be yourself. It takes guts! On the other hand, I am relatively sure that you are better at it than anyone else around.
So, what does it really mean to be yourself? If our instincts are dulled from years of living as part of human culture, does this mean that there is no hope for us to be natural? Thankfully, this isn't the case. What's required is actually fairly simple, in fact, it's simplicity itself, or rather, childlike innocence. Learning to play more, being more open and less pretentious, re-discovering and cultivating a sense of awe and wonder about life, and losing a little self-importance, will awaken your inner child, and allow you to be far more natural in your demeanor. This is the essence of being yourself! Perhaps, to some extent, "being yourself" is something you do, when you don't have anything else left which you must do, which might keep you from being at-ease and natural, but it doesn't have to end there. When people learn to set their masks aside, to reveal a little of who they really are, they create opportunities for personal growth, and interpersonal relationships, which might not otherwise exist. Therein lies the magic power of being yourself.
Sunday, March 22, 2009
Igniting goals that fell to the curb!
Igniting goals that fell to the curb!
As a child I was the cute “chubby” girl. People always told me “oh you just have baby fat” or “you just have to grow into yourself”. This may very well have been part of it, but more of a contributing factor was that I was indeed a chubby child. I was a gymnast but a chubby one….try to picture that, ha! My mom would send me to my aunt in the summer and say “don’t send her back until she’s lost 10 pound”. As you can imagine, I was real thrilled to go to my aunts. Moderate torture and I never lost the weight, since I’d sneak to the candy store to compensate making me walk all over town.
Once I graduated High School, I began taking a very strong interest in working out, getting in shape and staying fit. I did end up losing all my “baby fat” and grew into myself if that is what you want to call it. The gym became part of my daily routine. I learning how to eat and what exactly proper nutrition entailed.
I became a huge fan of Oxygen magazine and favored Monica Brant and Lena Johannesen. One day I’ll be a figure competitor is what I kept telling myself. The years would go on and I just stayed at a “maintenance” level with my workouts. I’d try new diets here and thought that being a figure competitor was so far out of reach due to the time and effort it required.
Recently, I have had the pleasure of meeting someone simply amazing who has given me the inspiration, motivation and encouragement that I have needed this whole time to push me to the next level and really go after a goal that had slipped away. It’s amazing how knowing that someone believes in you can boost your confidence.
So, this year I will enter into my first figure competition in the fall! I have a long road ahead of me, but am determined to “just do it”!
Stay Tuned!
As a child I was the cute “chubby” girl. People always told me “oh you just have baby fat” or “you just have to grow into yourself”. This may very well have been part of it, but more of a contributing factor was that I was indeed a chubby child. I was a gymnast but a chubby one….try to picture that, ha! My mom would send me to my aunt in the summer and say “don’t send her back until she’s lost 10 pound”. As you can imagine, I was real thrilled to go to my aunts. Moderate torture and I never lost the weight, since I’d sneak to the candy store to compensate making me walk all over town.
Once I graduated High School, I began taking a very strong interest in working out, getting in shape and staying fit. I did end up losing all my “baby fat” and grew into myself if that is what you want to call it. The gym became part of my daily routine. I learning how to eat and what exactly proper nutrition entailed.
I became a huge fan of Oxygen magazine and favored Monica Brant and Lena Johannesen. One day I’ll be a figure competitor is what I kept telling myself. The years would go on and I just stayed at a “maintenance” level with my workouts. I’d try new diets here and thought that being a figure competitor was so far out of reach due to the time and effort it required.
Recently, I have had the pleasure of meeting someone simply amazing who has given me the inspiration, motivation and encouragement that I have needed this whole time to push me to the next level and really go after a goal that had slipped away. It’s amazing how knowing that someone believes in you can boost your confidence.
So, this year I will enter into my first figure competition in the fall! I have a long road ahead of me, but am determined to “just do it”!
Stay Tuned!
Tuesday, February 3, 2009
REAL BEAUTY
What Does It Mean To Be Truly Beautiful?
The textbook definition of beauty reads; “the quality present in a thing or person that gives intense pleasure or deep satisfaction to the mind, whether arising from sensory manifestations (as shape, color, sound, etc.).
What does this mean exactly?
Here are some of my thoughts on what I deem to be”true beauty”.
A woman with a clean fresh "Ivory Soap" face, sun kissed glow and flowing hair in a great pair of jeans and white tank. Beauty is simplicity. Having confidence in yourself and the way you look. When someone radiates beauty they are letting others know they are sure of themselves, comfortable with their appearance and truly happy inside and out. I pride myself on allowing inner beauty to show just as much as outer beauty. Letting my personality shine through allowing inner beauty to exude kindness, gentleness, being genuine as well as intellect, courage and confidence.
However, the materialistic (and realistic) side of me also thinks of beauty as something exterior, something you see rather than feel. Women who break the mold and defy what society deems “pretty” are also beautiful. Of course being beautiful does mean perfection, a size zero or blonde hair with blue eyes…but a beautiful woman regardless of shape or size takes care of herself, has a certain pride about her body and attire while maintaining a certain aspect of mystery that sets her apart from the crowd and makes her alluring.
The textbook definition of beauty reads; “the quality present in a thing or person that gives intense pleasure or deep satisfaction to the mind, whether arising from sensory manifestations (as shape, color, sound, etc.).
What does this mean exactly?
Here are some of my thoughts on what I deem to be”true beauty”.
A woman with a clean fresh "Ivory Soap" face, sun kissed glow and flowing hair in a great pair of jeans and white tank. Beauty is simplicity. Having confidence in yourself and the way you look. When someone radiates beauty they are letting others know they are sure of themselves, comfortable with their appearance and truly happy inside and out. I pride myself on allowing inner beauty to show just as much as outer beauty. Letting my personality shine through allowing inner beauty to exude kindness, gentleness, being genuine as well as intellect, courage and confidence.
However, the materialistic (and realistic) side of me also thinks of beauty as something exterior, something you see rather than feel. Women who break the mold and defy what society deems “pretty” are also beautiful. Of course being beautiful does mean perfection, a size zero or blonde hair with blue eyes…but a beautiful woman regardless of shape or size takes care of herself, has a certain pride about her body and attire while maintaining a certain aspect of mystery that sets her apart from the crowd and makes her alluring.
Monday, January 5, 2009
Welcome 2009!
Welcome 2009!
A new year begins. With the coming of the new year numerous resolutions are made that set unrealistic goals or expectations in most peoples lives.
This year instead of setting a "resolution" I am choosing to be.....100% REAL!
Discover the true essence in what makes me....me.
Explore...what being "real" in different aspects of life really means.
A new year begins. With the coming of the new year numerous resolutions are made that set unrealistic goals or expectations in most peoples lives.
This year instead of setting a "resolution" I am choosing to be.....100% REAL!
Discover the true essence in what makes me....me.
Explore...what being "real" in different aspects of life really means.
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